Wednesday, March 11, 2015

New York City’s Ferret Ban is an Unacceptable Disgrace. Dr. Lynn Richardson is an Idiot.

You know, I actually thought common sense was about to prevail, but I was dead wrong. Months ago, I had heard that Mayor De Blaiso announced he would remove the egregiously irrational and moronic New York City ban on ferrets that has inexplicably existed for years along with plenty of other species.

While lifting the ban on one domesticated animal wouldn’t have exactly been a tremendous victory for softening the public’s abysmal attitudes towards truly exotic pets, I figured it would be a step in the right direction toward equality for all pet owners and their rights to obtain any pet they are financially and mentally equipped for, regardless of an animal rights activist thinking you shouldn’t have it or a logic-compromised health official using confirmation bias (or flat out lies) to determine there is something wrong with it.

Needless to say, I am almost embarrassed for New York City; supposedly progressive and considering the legalization of recreational drugs, but still continuing to disallow the ownership of animals that could never in a million years, even if it tried, pose the same threat to the Big Apple’s citizens as the very legal dogs and cats. 

These two species must be on some special can-cause-any-amount-of-harm-as-they-please-but-will-never-be-regulated list. In fact, the state of New York even prohibits BSL (breed-specific-legislation) and instead favors fairly assessing the animals as individuals. Despite deaths and disfigurement from dogs, and painful, prone to infection scratches and bites by kitties, apparently the fact that

“four ferret bites have been reported in New York City from 2008 to 2014. [Health Department staff say]

….and asinine speculations about the animals crawling through walls even though not one case of this has been reported (and really, who cares if there was?)  is enough to keep these ‘vicious’ pets illegal and considered ‘wild animals’, an utterly meaningless label for lazy thinkers.   

True wild animals live in or are from the wild, but some people consider any animal that is not domesticated to be ‘wild’, like a raccoon. However, ferrets are domesticated! So even that crude definition flops.

The vote was 3-2 to lift the ban yet 6 votes were needed, and 4 voters didn’t show up (a big thank you to them for this spit in the face to all that is reasonable and sane).

Who are the clueless people on NYC’s Board of Health that voted against lifting the ferret ban?

One of them is Dr. Lynn Richardson, a genius who had this to say:

"I have to say that, at this point, I'm not at all convinced that it wouldn't be a substantial health risk to allow ferret ownership in New York City," said board member Dr. Lynn Richardson.”

A SUBSTANTIAL health risk?? A tiny little ferret?? An animal that is owned across the country in 99% of states with zero fatalities and incredibly rare instances of significant harm (most or all occurring with defenseless infants and negligent decision-making) country-wide?

I have no choice but to conclude that Richardson is either a massive idiot or a member of the animal rights movement, not wanting people to open their eyes and start thinking ‘hey, if it’s unfair to judge ferrets for not being as harmless as fluffy pillows, what if…call me crazy…are we also being unjust to owners of more exotic animals and arbitrarily banning them just because we find it abnormal?’

When even harmless domesticated animals can’t catch a break, you can be sure that non-domesticated animals will never see the light of day in the city.

There was one faint glimmer of hope, I’d like to thank Dr. Joel Forman who was “struck by "the idea of equity” and expressed that it’s not fair to single out one animal for the same problems that legal animals cause [!].

Why, thank you Joel, that is actually ridiculously reasonable and fair. Too bad not everyone agrees with the idea of treating citizens with that level of respect.

Ferrets make superior pets to many dog breeds in apartments. I am dumb-founded that it’s perfectly legal to bring a border collie into your NYC apartment (a terrible, horrifically unsuitable breed for this) but the wonderfully space-efficient ferret is deemed inappropriate. Where’s Rod Sterling?